Ladies and gentlemen, and other random internet stalkers that are reading this, I have a few things to get off my chest. So please bear with me in the following, somewhat sardonic, rant.

First of all, I have been working my butt off at work only to be passed up multiple times for a promotion. Where I work, the word supervisor gets thrown around like ping pong ball. Honestly, if you are a tech and have been with the company more than four months, you can take “supervisor” calls. Some, not all, of the “supervisors” are a fucking joke and do not have an ounce of common sense or knowledge of company workings.

Let’s make a specific example. The boyfriend works in the same department as me in the same company. A few months back, he was offered the ultra-coveted Manager position. In my head, a very loud “what the fuck” resonated. No insults to the boyfriend, but it’s a no-brainer that I was better for the job. I had more knowledge on the sales and technical side and I was also working my butt off at that point. Currently, I don’t care who becomes the next manager for our department. It’s been made clear to me that I am not cut out for this job. Their reasoning? Because I am in school and would leave them as soon as I got my degree. Now, if I recall properly, there are jobs out there with a nifty thing called tuition reimbursement. Having tuition reimbursement means that the company that you work for is willing to pay so that you can get an education. Even if it means that your education has nothing to do with the current job you’re doing. What a novel idea! Companies want smarter people. Who would have though? Of course that’s not the case where I work, let’s not promote the girl that’s aspiring to get her Bachelor’s. How completely idiotic! Let’s promote the inept ones that have no alternate future and will therefore be our slaves employees forever.

I’ve now changed my tactics. I’ve become completely fine with other people over me and congrats to whoever gets the next promotion. All I want now is the raise that I have been asking for for the past two months. It does not take THIS LONG to get a raise approved. Bills in congress get approved faster than my raise. I think I deserve a raise. I work hard, I keep to myself and I tend to do what’s asked of me. When I came into my interview in January, I was quoted a certain figure that people could make after one year of employment. While I know that was more of a come-work-for-us pitch than a promise, I think that I do work as hard as most if not all of the my co-workers. And at one point, I did care about this company. Sadly, the little episodes of bullshit that I must deal daily with are slowly dwindling the work ethic that I once had. I hate the fact that I am in a mid-position. I’m not unimportant but I’m not important either. I am the in-between. And I also am blessed with a revolving door of titles that are made up on a whim. Right now, my routine is to come into work, do my job and go home. I could really care less about the other goings on outside my realm of work. What’s that? We are now implementing shock collars with homing beacons? Sure. Frankly, I care less each day. Thank you, upper management, for instilling such an apathetic attitude in me.

The bottom line is this: There are plenty of other jobs out there that will pay what I currently get paid. Those jobs are for “real” companies and some of them include that novel thing that we discussed earlier– tuition reimbursement. The company that I work for entrusts me with their highest paying customers. I sometimes hold their hands and walk them through how to take a poop and install RAID. I don’t mind. I actually love helping the clients and usually they are appreciative and polite. More appreciative, I must say, then the people who cut the checks. If you had someone dealing with accounts that generate a lot (I won’t say how much) of profit each month– wouldn’t you want this person to be hard-working? Shouldn’t this person also be at least a little better paid than her other co-workers? I would think so. Unfortunately, someone does not agree with me.

I got this in the mail earlier last month and just found it on my coffee table. Introducing the first personally-addressed snail mail I have ever received. It comes in a plain white envelope with no return address. “Yay,” I think to myself, “A personalized letter!”

Aw, someone sent me something…thoughtful? I think. But wait, who the hell is J?

And why did he send me a newspaper? This is when I finally realized it was snail mail spam. How disappointing. Like when you realize that you’re really not the beneficiary for a South African Prince’s fortune.

On a completely unrelated note, I finally got a picture of the divorce van parked in front of a gas station on highway six. False advertisement? I think so.

It’s been a week since my birthday so this post is coming very late. But here are some birthday pics. Sorry, no drunken or crazy ones.

Anyways, thanks to my girlfriends who made it down to celebrate. Good times. I wish I had taken more pictures, but I seriously forget that I have my camera half of the time.

So it’s 3 am in the morning and I am having trouble getting those creative juices flowing on a couple of past-due writing assignments. I just keep thinking to myself that after this week I won’t have to write a damn thing for school until next semester. Currently, I’m trying to make up a newsletter on a topic that I’ve yet to decide on. As you can see, I’m making really great progress already.

As of late, my entire schedule has been in shambles. I haven’t had time to go to the gym, study, clean or otherwise be domestic at all in the past week. I used to be fastidious about these things but now I just feel like a sloth. I blame the lack of exercise which has led to an endorphin deficit in my system. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands. Right, Elle?

Anyways, here I am, wishing this blog were more pink, struggling through writing 2,000 of psychobabble, and looking forward to my three-day birthday weekend. I am determined to make it through the next 48 hours so I can drink myself into a 21st birthday stupor this weekend. All are welcome to join in around downtown Houston but only if you buy me a drink.

Ladies and gents, boys and girls, it’s that time of the year again. When the temperature beings to (finally) drop 20 degrees, the wind starts blowing and so on and so forth. Basically, it starts getting cold, which really means…My Birthday is coming up soon! Next month I get one year older, not necessarily wiser. And I no longer have to lie when I order alcohol at restaurants.

It’s also time to make my ultimate birthday wish list. Disclaimer: This list is entirely for my entertainment (and I suppose yours, too).

1. I want a Lotus Elise (for a day). Galleria Exotics has one in for $300/day. In short, I just want to drive really, really fast.
2. An Olympus Stylus – I’ve always loved Olympus and Nikon cameras. This would be a welcome update from the camera phone I usually use. Which brings me to the next item on my list…
3. A Flickr Pro account. I just got the notice that I’ve reached my 200 photo limit. In exchange for a flickr pro account, I promise to post more random pictures….and less puppy pictures too.
4. PostSecret Books! I have the first two but the two most recently published books, A lifetime of Secrets and The Secret Lives of Men and Women are still missing from my collection. If I had to pick one or the other, I hear that A Lifetime of Secrets is getting rave reviews.
5. Office Supplies. Namely, the TUL Dry erase markers. I can’t help it– I love office supplies. Have you seen my little home office and my box of pen/pencils?
6. Lastly, a one year subscription to Cosmo.

In the wee hours of October 2nd, my not-so-little 10-month old puppy slipped off of her leash and got lost somewhere on Eldridge Parkway. We searched everywhere we could think of around the block, behind stores, all throughout our apartment complex, etc. But after hours of driving around and posting fliers, we found nothing. I even bought a domain (whereisjasmine.us) and slapped together a WP blog to get the message out. Will wrote the posts in Jasmine’s POV so don’t think I’m one of those crazy dog ladies.

After being lost of almost 24 hours, I had given up all hopes of finding her. I got a call at 9am this morning, well before my normal wake-up time. (You have to keep in mind that I work nights, here.) This Mexican woman was on the other line. In my half-drowsy state of mind, all I could pick out was the word “Jasmine” and “dog.” This woman and her kids were driving into one of the entrances to our complex when they saw a little dog and tried to run after it. Apparently she had seen one of our fliers and called me after she spotted Jasmine running off. I had my doubts at first but when we finally drove up to her, there was Jasmine, laying under a bush half asleep. She was muddy and exhausted but after a bath and some rest she seems to be back to her usual naughty self. She has a few blisters on her paws and a tiny, mysterious cut on her leg; but other than that, she’s completely fine. Amazing, huh?

Dear Houston,

Please learn to use your fucking turn signals before I rear end one of you. It’s really doing a number on my break pads.

Thanks!
Much love,
Pauline

PS – After having to drive a Chevy Trailblazer (it was the only rental they had), I now understand why people pay out the ass for gas to drive these. And I want one.

1. I-10 is the shittiest freeway…ever.
2. My puppy likes to eat shit. Literally. Shit. The kind that comes from another dog’s butt.
3. Apple will always shit on you by releasing the latest iPod, iPhone, or iComputer one week after you buy/get yours.
4. That said, those new iPods are going to be the shit.
5. The shitty parking in downtown during a sports event cannot compare to the shitty parking at UH on a daily basis.
6. Speaking of which, people with trucks who park in “compact” spaces deserve to have the shit beat out of them.
7. I’m trying to trade in my shit car for a non-shit car without a shit ton of money because car dealerships are full of shit.
8. This book has got to be the most promising shit I’ve seen in a while.
9. InternetIsShit.org is the first thing that pops up when you search for “shit” on google. I don’t think the internet is shit but that website is. Where are all the PICTURES?!
10. Shit! I have class tomorrow in six hours. Bye! xoxo
    

Soooo… last night, after I got off of work, I set my alarm to 8AM so I could get up and have one hour to get ready for my class at 10AM. Apparently 8am = 8pm when I am very tired. So I got woken up at 9:45 when a Honda salesman called me. Driving from Memorial to UH in 15 minutes is nearly impossible so I decided to skip my first class so I could not look like a train wreck for the second one. When I got to campus it was the largest parking clusterfuck ever. There were no parking spots near the stadium. In fact, people started making their own parking spots. Time to get a parking spot: 20 minutes.

Also, I bought a shit car this weekend. Shit car but not shit price. I don’t understand why people congratulate you when buying a car…you’ve just spent money and are now in debt for a depreciating asset. Yay debt!! Yay me.

Tonight, for shits and giggles, I tried cooking hamburgers for dinner instead of going out to whatever fast food restaurant. I learned, to put it bluntly, that I suck at cooking. I ended up burning myself in four different places and the first hamburger patty too. I apologize in advanced to the poor guy who ends up with me and to my future kids. The only “home-cooked” food you’ll be able to enjoy (besides anything that’s frozen or from a box) is breakfast foods (pancakes, eggs, french toast, etc) and pasta. Those are my only specialties. Memo to self: read

Also, today, I hung out with Jen for a while and we went to go pick up a TV that I bought from an ad on Craigslist. I needed a shit tv for the bedroom and saw an ad for a $45 22″ TV. The TV, in my opinion, is a pretty good deal for the money– the picture is fine and there aren’t any major cosmetic blemishes. Another plus, as you can already tell, is that I didn’t get raped, kidnapped, or assaulted during this transaction so all went well. Did I mention that I found my current job on craigslist? I <3 you craigslist.